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ambervsthepowerman
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Name: Amber
Location: Arkansas College Kids, Arkansas, United States
Gender: Female
Interests: Books, the Outdoors, Movies
Expertise: Flying 2-handed Kites (well I'm not that good at it)
Occupation: Bookseller
Industry: Corporate America
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/24/2006
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| So the other day I was getting really indignant about a friend of mine ignoring me. Rehashing how stupid that person is and how unfair. And I almost came to the conclusion that all people suck and no one is worth my time. (I come to this conclusion about once a month, but then I have my period and the world is ok again.) Then I remembered all the people I haven't talked to in a long time. So I have decided to be more proactive in my friendships (except for the before mentioned one, because enough is enough). -Amber | | |
| On a personal note, this is my first day back at NPCC after a year and a half. I'm just taking 2 classes this semester, then I'll start the nursing program in August...if they'll have me. And why wouldn't they? I always liked going to class, except for all the other students. Well not all of them. Just the annoying few, who interrupt discussion at every chance with some stupid remark. Today it wasn't less annoying, but I gained a new understanding. Being in class must make these people very uncomfortable. They must be so insecure they think that everyone is already thinking about how horrible they are. So obsessed with these fears they try to crack jokes, in hopes that it'll make everyone like them. What they don't realize is everyone isn't judging them, or paying them any attention at all. That is, not until after the asinine comments. Those poor people. And in other firsts, the new President is having his first full day in office. I like the freeze he put on salaries. I like that he didn't waste any time. I like that he's already meeting about Iraq, and am pretty neutral about the delay in gutanamo trials. I didn't get to watch the inauguration but I read his speech a few minutes ago. That speech summarized everything I want to believe about American politics. I love that speech, and I hope it was sincere. I'm going to put it in my scrapbook. I wonder what my children will think of that speech if they ever read it in there. Will they think about me being young and hopeful. Will they see that we did accomplish our goals. Or will I look foolish for keeping it, because the country never changed. By then will it have become just a lot of hot air. Or worse, will my children not give a hoot at all about history. Will they not care at all about me or what I kept. Will they feel alienated from me, and not even able to imagine me at this point. Full of sceptical hope for my country, my planet, my career, and my anatomy class. I'm reading The Elegance of the Hedgehog. I'm only on the 3rd chapter, but I know it's going to be one of my favorites because of the way the characters are introduced and described. The author doesn't waste any time diving into one of the narrator's complexities. It's hard to explain without ruining it. I already know a lot of this character's personality, but am filled with even more interest and questions about her. -Amber | | |
| I have a new one!
He was born in Searcy. We went up there yesterday. Was iced in so we spent the night at a hotel (me, my mom and dad, and my older nephew Duncan).
The baby's name is Jeremiah. He weighed 9 pounds 13 ounces and was 22.75 inches long. She had a cesarian (is that how it's spelled?).
Anyway I'm just thrilled.
-Amber | | |
| Around 3 weeks ago I wrote about the rude woman at the health clinic. Well I went up there again last week, on a Tuesday, like the woman told me to do. Got there at 8:30. Lady tells me they usually have 3 doctors, but only have 1 that day so all appointments are already filled. I told her about the rude woman and how I asked her twice about scheduling an appointment but she led me to believe all you could do was show up. So this lady gave me their number and told me I had to call on a Tuesday exactly at 8:00 to get an appointment for the same day, and if I got a busy signal to just keep on calling.
So this morning I woke up at 7:45. Waited until 8:00 exactly and called. I got a busy signal until 8:03. Then the woman told me since the nurses they have are in training they're taking less people than usual, but next week they'll be able to take a full load.
At first all I needed was a prescription for birth control. But Friday I started to bleed. It's too early for my period. It was only spotting but still scary. The big family health book at work says it could be a sign of an early miscarriage, an unrecognized pregnancy, or cervical cancer. Or it could just be bleeding. Yesterday I tried to go to two different urgent care clinics. Neither one of them would take me. They don't do vaginas there, unless something wrong is going on. Apparently, my case doesn't constitute as something wrong.
I looked in the yellow pages under gynecologists, women's clinics, doctors, and medical. Couldn't find anything. So I called goog info. There were two listings under women's clinic. One was a pregnancy center, and the other was St Joseph's Mercy Women's Clinic. Yesterday, no one answered the phone at St. Joe's. Today they said the doctor is booked full for two weeks, but that a nurse practitioner could see me tomorrow. And they had no idea how much it would cost.
So I called planned parenthood in Little Rock. The woman actually answered some of my questions over the phone. She said it doesn't sound like a miscarriage or cervical cancer either. And she got me an appointment for a pap smear today at 3:00 and I have to pay $125. I figure even if it's nothing I can still get my annual check up and my birth control. So now I'm at the library printing out directions to the place.
-Amber
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| Babies!
My brother's girlfriend is having one around the 1st of December. His name will be Jeremiah Douglas. My dad's name is Jerry Douglas, and my brother's Jeremy Douglas. So anyway I'm just crazy about having nephews.
I have an interview for a new job tomorrow. It's actually the phone center job I had before. I really need the money and health benefits. If I get the job I'll be able to afford a car payment. So I won't have to drive Reid's mom's extra tracker. I hate having to depend on his parents so much. And I can start a savings account, in case of emergencies I'll have my own stash and won't have to need anyone else. (I mean that in the most loving way possible.)
Yesterday I saw the Changeling with Angelina Jolie (as in she stars in it, not as in we went to the movies together). It's directed by Clint Eastwood. Everything is done very well and you can tell they spent a ton of money. There are whole streets lined with 1920's cars. Her house, clothes, everything looks so authentic. However, it was the most disturbing movie I've ever seen.
1. The police give her the wrong child and insist it's hers so they can have good publicity - Can't trust any authority figure. Thank you Clint for validating this belief.
2. They insist she's either a horrible mother or insane. They throw her in a women's insane asylum, without a warrant. Because you know, women are so emotional and illogical they're likely to go nuts at the drop of a hat. In the asylum she meets several others who the police had thrown in there.
3. What really happened to her boy and about 20 others. There was this guy kidnapping boys and keeping them on a ranch in a chicken coop. He'd get about 3 to 5 then he'd kill them with an ax. He made his young nephew stay with him and help.
4. And it was a true story. I don't know what they embellished, if anything. But the serial killer, and Christine Collins (the mother) were definitely true.
I hate stories about serial killers. They scare me more than anything. They look and act so normal and often get away with so much before they're caught. The human mind can become unbelievably ill. ANYONE could be a serial killer. Even that librarian giving me the creepy eye... (just kidding, but hey you never know...until someone else is wearing your skin!!!)
So the other day I saw the Flaming Lips movie "Christmas on Mars." It started me thinking about how lonely mankind really is. We're floating in infinite space on the only life supporting planet that we know of. We spend so many dollars and lives exploring space. Part of the reason definitely is the hope that we're not the only life out there. And on this planet, we consider ourselves the most intelligent and only soulful beings. So a lonely species on a lonely planet.
Then there's modern life which alienates us from nature. Being so surrounded by manmade things, keeping us from what we came out of. Making us less sure of what we are. So sort of a lonely stranger on a lonely planet.
Modern life also separates us from each other. I feel like with how rushed most people are, with everyone's shortening attention spans, and how most people stay in touch through electronics, it lessens relationships some how. Turning them into quick, shallow exchanges.
It seems there is an endless list of things created to help ease the loneliness. Depression medicine. All kinds of entertainments. Religions talking about a separation from God and the hope of reconciliation. Or Kaballah's fixing the broken pieces, shards. Or the idea that we are separated from the universe, from what we are, by the illusion of the self, and the goal of reconnection.
I think humans are obsessed with the meaning of life because a meaningless existence validates and amplifies the feeling of loneliness. Then there's the mystery and eventuality of death. The fear that it really is nothing. An eternal separation. And if that really is all death is, then the knowledge that any relief from loneliness, no matter how meaningful, is temporary.
This doesn't mean that all explanations of the universe and death, that try to ease the loneliness are only that, or any less true. In fact it could help prove their point. If the loneliness and the need for relief from it are facts, then those theories that help do that could be truer than those that only confirm it.
-Amber
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